If there’s one thing I find you can rely on it’s that Notting Hill Editions books are going to be an interesting read! I’ve had the pleasure of reading many of their releases over the years and whether it’s Virginia Woolf, Oscar Wilde, George Perec, Ian Nairn, A.A. Milne or A.J. Lees (to name just a few I’ve read), you’re guaranteed an interesting and stimulating read! Their latest release, “Midlife: Humanity’s Secret Weapon” by Andrew Jamieson, is no exception in that it’s a fascinating and thought-provoking look at a condition which is specific to humans – the Midlife Crisis.
It’s fair to say that this has become something of a cliche, usually exemplified by men buying sportscars and having affairs, or women having nervous breakdowns and taking up with toyboys. However, as Jamieson points out, humans and killer whales are the only mammals who have a post-reproductive life that lasts longer than their reproductive life. In the case of the whales, it can be clearly seen that they have a value in helping find food for the group; it’s not so clear why humans live so long, particularly with the attitudes of the young towards the old… So psychotherapist Andrew Jamieson sets out to explore the knotty topic, taking in a lot of great thinkers as well as his own personal experience on his journey.
Our middle years can be difficult ones; having the first part of your life making your career, defining yourself, perhaps settling down and having a family, you suddenly find yourself doubting the value of all of that. Your children grow up and move on, your relationships seem stale and you long to be young again. These feelings can be completely debilitating and bring about the ending of marriages, abadonment of careers and mental illness. Society fetishizes the young with older people (particularly women) made to feel redundant. Jamieson tackles the issue by exploring his own midlife turmoil and that of those close to him, as well as his patients; he draws much of his analysis of the subject from the life and work of Jung who went through a massive midlife crisis of his own.
Jungian theory is not something I’ve really come across before, but Jamieson explains the subject clearly and concisely, as well as relating Jung’s experiences and the complexities of his relationship with Freud. The midlife crisis is a kind of rite of passage through which we need to pass to reach a settled place in our later life; there we’ll have the knowledge and the wisdom we’ve learned to steer our tribe through difficult situations. Intriguingly, Jamieson reveals several times where prominent figures have proved crucial to our species, from leading America safely through the Civil War, via discovering radioactivity to defusing the Cuban Missile Crisis. Those elder humans have passed through their crisis and gained the gravitas to lead, discover and advise; and Jamieson actually believes that our species may be hitting its own mid-life crisis at the moment. Whether we can get through it remains to be seen…
The sections of the book where Jamieson explores the various triggers for these crises was fascinating, and he and his patients often have to dig deep (right back to issues with infant bonding) to pull out what’s troubling people and work through it. It’s obviously a valuable therapy to have, but I did feel that perhaps the majority of people are not going to have access to this. With waiting lists as they are, getting therapy from the NHS is not going to be a quick process, and many of us cannot afford to go private. So I guess a lot of people will have to find their own way to work through their crisis…
“Midlife” was a fascinating book, full of much that was new to me, and I really enjoyed its mix of history, biography and science. Alas, I am probably to be regarded as past my midlife crisis now (I think I had it when the Offspring grew up and I suddenly realised I’d lost a big chunk of my life to child rearing!); but I wish I’d had access to this book at the time because I do feel it would have offered me much wisdom and guidance. As it is, if you’re reaching the point of your own middle years, you might find Jamieson’s book quite useful… ;D
(Review book kindly provided by the publisher, for which many thanks!)
Kaggsy's Bookish Ramblings 
May 25, 2022 @ 07:23:04
Hmmm, yes, I thought I would be immune to a midlife crisis (having experienced its nasty effects on others and bored to tears with novels depicting it in men written by men). But maybe not. I do have that ‘running out of time’ feeling if that counts…
May 25, 2022 @ 16:20:09
That sounds a bit like it, yes… I know when my kids left home I suddenly felt like I’d come out of a tunnel and lost 15 years of my life… I suspect it often hits women very differently too.
May 25, 2022 @ 07:39:37
At 45 I’m bang in the middle of the age bracket Jamieson identifies, no crisis yet but maybe it’s lurking ready to pounce! It’s good to see mid-life presented positively for a change, without simplifying the challenges. Sounds another interesting read from this publisher!
May 25, 2022 @ 16:19:06
Well, I guess not everybody has these things! I think it must depend very much on individual circumstances and what life changes you’re going through – and also what kind of person you are, so maybe you are a fulfilled person with no need for crises! A very interesting read, though!
May 25, 2022 @ 17:11:35
I wish that were true Kaggsy – crisis ahoy 😀
May 26, 2022 @ 13:52:43
Oh dear… 😬😬🤣
May 25, 2022 @ 11:10:12
Glad to see that Jung and Freud are dealt with in an easy to grasp way. Jamieson’s approach seems a welcome one, and it’s good to see more people questioning stereotypical bracketings and understandings of age.
May 25, 2022 @ 16:17:27
So was I, as I’m not that up on them but it was all very interesting. The book’s certainly one which provides lots of food for thought and it does seem that a mid-life crisis can happen at lots of different times…
May 25, 2022 @ 11:44:36
Interesting (and a little worrying) that Jamieson suggests our species has reached a mid-life crisis point. Mine came early at 30 resulting in travel and a change of career. My partner’s followed a similar pattern, although his was mid-40s so he stuck to the timetable!
May 25, 2022 @ 16:16:29
Yes, it is – we definitely need to get through this as a species. As for the human crises, Jamieson actually relates the experience of his mother having a very late old-age mid life crisis and I suspect the timing very much depends on individual circumstances. I do wonder if I’m due another!!
May 25, 2022 @ 12:50:56
What an interesting exploration of the changes we go through, KBR! I often wonder whether those changes (other than, of course, the physical ones) are universal, or if it’s culturally bound? Either way, it’s fascinating to see maturation through other eyes, if that makes sense.
May 25, 2022 @ 16:14:25
That’s an interesting point, Margot. Some of the pressures may be cultural ones, but I think particularly with women, the physical changes trigger things too. A very intriguing book!
May 25, 2022 @ 12:56:46
Being stuck in rural Southern Ohio, the world of blogs has introduced me to (among others) Fitzcarlado Editions. Peresphone Books, Dean Street Press, and other niche publishers. It’s broadened my reading world. I’m not “from” where I live so it gets hard some times, but posts like this remind me of the big, broad world where everyone doesn’t think one way. Right now I’m going through a “just-past-mid-life-not-quite-elderly” crisis from my job being cut, starting over with a crappy entry-level job, kids now adults, elderly Mom with demands—I get it. This sounds like a book for me.
May 25, 2022 @ 16:13:33
These indie publishers certainly do broaden our horizons, for sure. As for the life changes we go through, this book was very interesting on not only the triggers but also the fact that these crises can happen at many different ages. I had one when my kids grew up and I went back to work but I’m in something of the same position as you at the moment and I reckon it could well trigger another…
May 25, 2022 @ 21:46:47
Hold tight.
May 26, 2022 @ 18:46:36
🤣🤣😳
May 25, 2022 @ 15:29:02
It’s funny how the mid life crisis is often seen as a joke isn’t it, when it’s actually an incredibly difficult time. I think I need this book!
May 25, 2022 @ 16:07:19
It’s not easy, no, and the emotional pressures at that point are really difficult!
May 25, 2022 @ 20:48:05
What a fascinating topic for a book. I was just thinking similarly to Jane, how midlife crisis is treated often as a joke when actually it can be a really upsetting, challenging period. I think I became more myself in middle age, but health challenges and changes to my life the last five years have been harder to cope with.
May 26, 2022 @ 13:51:47
It’s certainly a very interesting topic, and I totally get what you say about becoming more yourself – I think we settle in and accept what we are more easily once we’ve passed our youth and that can be more comfortable. The health challenges are not so much fun though – it’s a trade off, isn’t it, have youth and health and energy, or be older and wiser but have the physical issues to deal with. 😦
May 26, 2022 @ 01:19:18
What an interesting approach to the subject that’s so often portrayed as a cliché, but what really caught my eye is Jamieson’s idea that humanity is now in a mid-life crisis and wonder if other times have looked not unlike this one when there seems to be a shift into a different era (into the industrial age for example). Another lovely and thought-provoking title from Notting Hill!
May 26, 2022 @ 13:50:14
Yes, it’s good to see what can be a much mocked subject taken seriously. As for our species, I tend to think its fortunates rise and fall as different civilisations rise and fall so there have probably been quite a lot of midlife crises…
May 27, 2022 @ 10:53:00
This sounds like a very stimulating, thought-provoking book on an important subject. As others have expressed, I think it’s refreshing to see something that doesn’t treat this issue as a joke or an opportunity to patronise people.
Looking back, I think I’ve experienced two mid-life crises or times of significant change. One in my early forties when I decided to leave the stress (and security) of the corporate world for a more flexible but uncertain life as a freelancer. Luckily it turned out to be the best career move I could have made, although it felt quite risky at the time. The second came in my mid-fifties, precipitated by health issues, and while some of them are permanent/chronic, I think I’ve reached a place where I feel more accepting of them.
Does Jamieson discuss the menopause at all, as I think this must be quite a significant cause of anxiety for many women in mid-life?
May 27, 2022 @ 14:37:39
It really is an interesting and very necessary book and perhaps calling them times of significant change as you have would have been better. Terminology is important and as Jamieson discusses, these changes can come at so many different points. I suspect like you I’ve had more than one period like this, firstly when my children started to grow up and then when I decided I needed to do something more creative and the blog was born. I feel pretty much that I know who I am now and that is nice – also I don’t much care what people think of me, which is a state I think you tend to get to when you’re older.
As for the menopause, Jamieson doesn’t really approach that which is perhaps an omission because it does have a substantial effect on most women I know (including myself!) who’ve gone through it!
May 27, 2022 @ 16:58:50
That does sound interesting (your point about people not being able to access the long-term, deep therapy he describes came up in my mind when reading Susanna Abse’s book recently). I had one “revelation” aged 39 when I decided it was time to leave work and go full-time self-employed, and I haven’t dealt with turning 50 very well (most evidenced by my long hair meeting some scissors at home and some kinder scissors hurriedly at the hairdressers (“Oh, I’ve seen far worse”)). I don’t have family up or down issues to deal with, though in law ones are looming over us, but I have various friends in various crises, including my best friend whose husband of 20 years upped and left as soon as their children went off to university and now lives in Australia! So I’m not sure I’d want to read something that makes me forgive him for that, but it does sound an interesting read I will pick up if I see it. Also fascinating to read everyone’s comments!
May 27, 2022 @ 19:10:33
It’s a very thought-provoking read, and I totally get that therapy can help – it’s just that not everyone can get this and that creates problems. It’s so interesting to hear about your changes, and also everyone else who’s commented. What’s clear is that these kind of life ruptures hit different people at different times, and it seems to very much depend on your circumstances. Plus the pressure is on to settle into a life and a lifestyle quite early, before you’ve really fully developed as a person. I think that has much to do with splits e.g. once children have grown up, because people change – and I feel for your best friend, how awful for her. 😦
May 28, 2022 @ 16:52:04
Surprising isn’t it that this topic hasn’t been given much serious exploration and visibility given how widespread the experience is. I don’t recall ever seeing an in depth article for example in one of the “serious” newspapers or magazines – maybe if a celebrity started talking about it, people would pay more attention.
May 28, 2022 @ 17:09:30
It *is* surprising, and having been through something like this myself I do agree it needs to be taken seriously. Rather than just laughing at the cliche, we should see what support people need.