Yup. I am afraid that after a week of trying to push through the third section of this readalong, I decided last night that it was time for me to bail…
I don’t often give up on a book nowadays as I do tend to try to read things I hope I’ll like or get something out of; after all, my life is finite and it’s too precious to waste on a book I’m hating. But I sat last night and asked myself if there was any point in continuing and came back with the answer no. So I’ve abandoned “Berlin Alexanderplatz”.
Frankly, I don’t care what happens to Franz or any of his friends; I feel like the effort I’m having to make to read it is not balanced with anything that’s rewarding enough; and I reckon I could get a sense of Berlin at that time from any number of books which I would actively enjoy rather than one I’m wrestling with. Reading *shouldn’t* be a struggle and this was; I realised I was having to force myself to pick up the book and starting to hate the experience of reading it, which is not how it should be. It’s disappointing in a way, because at the start of this section I had begun to feel a bit more invested, and was actually enjoying the narrative. But that dissipated as the week went on and I found myself looking at all the other books I *could* have been reading and resenting the fact I was spending time with BA.
So I’m sorry Caroline and Lizzy, and I do hope you have a more rewarding experience than I do. The questions you both provided to aid our discussion and experience with the book *were* helpful and did focus the mind; but in the end I had to declare myself beaten. Onward and upward with something completely different, methinks!!!!
Nov 23, 2019 @ 15:38:59
I sympathise. I struggled with this, and at times with Anniversaries, an experience I just posted about. Like you I don’t like abandoning a book unfinished, but if you’re really not enjoying it, why not?
Nov 23, 2019 @ 15:51:40
I *did* want to finish this, but I just couldn’t – I don’t usually give up on books, but the balance was wrong and I just wasn’t getting enough from it. I admit to feeling relieved….
Nov 23, 2019 @ 15:46:04
Yes. I really had a hard time with this one. Did finish it, but it was a waste of time.
Nov 23, 2019 @ 15:50:50
I just couldn’t bear to struggle on any more. There are so many more books I’d rather be reading!
Nov 23, 2019 @ 15:59:33
I agree 100%. Too many books to read that you actually enjoy. I have abandoned books as well that were just too much like work. I’m retired. I’m supposed to be resting and reading and generally enjoying life.
Nov 23, 2019 @ 18:55:00
Very much so. Whether the enjoyment is from pure entertainment or having your mind stretched, it’s got to be rewarding and not a slog! 😀
Nov 23, 2019 @ 16:49:10
When you get to the point that you dread picking up the book then it’s best to ditch it. Better luck with your next read.
Nov 23, 2019 @ 18:54:09
That’s pretty much the realisation I came to last night. Why punish myself when I really didn’t want to carry on with it? Casting around for something else now… ;D
Nov 23, 2019 @ 16:51:23
I’ve not read this, ‘tis upon the ‘one day’ list though. Interesting what you say about reading not being a struggle and I spend several hours a day reading books and that excludes magazines, audible books, newspapers, online articles, say up to 4 hours on books, but I nearly always find reading a bit of a struggle for 3 reasons: first standing on the piedmont plain I invariably look ahead and up at the mountain, 300, 400, maybe 500 pages or more; second, if I’m enjoying it I’m generally aware that I’m also missing some points, nuances of the story, characterization – or if I’m not enjoying it then the same reasons apply – that I’ve not being paying close enough attention and should start again; third, another book is always beckoning, it sits recently purchased, or has had a mention in an article, by a friend.
I wonder about the opportunity cost of not reading? More telly, more radio, visits to the theatre or cinema, teaching my granddaughters to….read? But that requires different sorts of effort and skills…my neighbours say they wouldn’t want to read anything that made their brains ache (usually returning books unread) – but isn’t that part of the fun and reward – looking back down across the valley?
One last quip – John Heath-Stubbs eyesight finally failed, and unable to see he said ‘…thank God I don’t have to read anymore’.
Nov 23, 2019 @ 18:53:26
🙂 I don’t find reading a chore if I’m getting something out of it, but I wasn’t with this and it was becoming such hard work I just couldn’t continue. I like a challenging or difficult book, but not one that I can’t get anything from. I don’t begrudge the time given to reading, because it’s always been so important to me, but it has to be a book that is worth it – whether in terms of entertainment, education, enlightenment or opening my eyes and my mind to different ways of seeing and thinking. I get that from books much more than other art forms.
And even if my eyes go, I’ll still want to listen to words…. ;D
Nov 24, 2019 @ 00:50:49
I like Peter’s query about the ‘opportunity cost of not reading’… there is a cost to not reading, both in terms of not reading anything else at all or not reading much (“more telly, more radio, visits to the theatre or cinema”) as well as not reading a particular book. For me the former doesn’t apply. I’ve always been a reader and always will be. The opportunity cost of not reading at all or not reading much #DuckingForCover is ignorance.
But it’s the ‘opportunity cost’ of not reading a particular book that arises with an important book such as this which interests me. Ulysses, which I love, is one of those books, and I think that I would be diminished if I hadn’t read it. All the books I’ve read by Gerald Murnane are in that category, but well worth persisting through the difficulty of reading them. As with Borges and Calvino and others like them.
OTOH I’ve read Finnegans Wake, and I don’t know that I would be any worse off for not having persisted with it. And although I borrowed Berlin Alexanderplatz from the library specifically to join in the readalong, I abandoned it fairly quickly because it didn’t seem worth it. It paled by comparison with Hans Fallada’s The Drinker.
All of which is to say that while we serious readers can be guided by expert opinion about which books are great books and well worth reading, but at the end of the day, the opportunity cost of not reading something that others say is a great book, is that, sure, you can’t join in the conversation about the ideas within it or have that feeling of an accomplishment that as a side benefit LOL gives you membership of an exclusive club… but OTOH abandoning the book gives you time to read other books that you do enjoy and that give you that luxurious feeling of gratitude to the author and to the life that enables you to have time to read, every time you think of them.
Happy reading!
Nov 24, 2019 @ 08:01:16
Thank you Lisa you’re helping me to clarify what I am trying to express. I spent the best part of two decades reading and studying FW – attending conferences and lecturing on it, partly Joyce’s intention, it became ‘my struggle’ and it’s not an exaggeration to say it almost ended our marriage, well that – and the whisky. I no longer drink; an alcoholic dry for 30 years, and the 700 book Joyce collection was shipped to a Japanese college by Bertram Rota when I stopped drinking, but I kept my annotated copy and from time to time peep into the book that nearly killed me and all that I love – I like to look at the nose thumbing (at me and all the other readers) on p.308 and then turn the book on its side and the nose thumbing transforms into the hen looking in the dump for the letter – all of us searching for a/the meaning.
For me very few writers deliver the total immersion that rams ‘you’ up against ‘being’ – reading is life for me – it’s ‘my struggle’; a couple of years back I read Murnane for the first time and all the fucking lights went on!
Nov 24, 2019 @ 09:57:54
Ah, you love Murnane too, we are soulmates!
Nov 24, 2019 @ 13:56:11
I really *will* have to give Murnane a look! 😀
Nov 24, 2019 @ 13:55:53
Reading is life for me too, really – so too short to waste on something that’s giving me nothing. I reckon I’ll have to check our Murnane at some point though!
Nov 24, 2019 @ 13:54:31
Agreed! I’m sorry in a way not to be part of the BA club, but I feel such a sense of release not having to read on, and I’ve been submerging myself in words that have been so rewarding since. Not every great book is going to be one for us, regardless of its stature. In the end, what I’m probably looking for is a book which touches my soul in a big way. Not every book does that, but some do – a case in point is that I re-read parts of Saramago’s “Death at Intervals” this morning and felt rejuvenated and moved. Borges and Calvino, who you mention, both entrance and move me – BA didn’t at the end of the day and I’m happy to be out of it! 😀
Nov 23, 2019 @ 17:36:31
I really feel for you, it is frustrating when you have already put so much effort in. Sometimes, though life is just too short. Having read your last post, I could tell that this was a challenging book. I hate that feeling of forcing myself to read a book, I have felt like that a few times with book group books. Well done for getting as far as you did.
Nov 23, 2019 @ 18:49:37
Thanks Ali – I just couldn’t hack it any more. I don’t mind a difficult or challenging read if I’m getting something from it, but with this one I ended up feeling that I wasn’t. It had become a chore and that’s no way to read. It’s kind of why I’ve always been a bit wary of real life book groups because I have such a weird, all over the place taste in books that I probably would rebel against the choices! 😀
Nov 23, 2019 @ 19:06:33
There have been times when I have flat out refused to read the book, they know me now I think.
Nov 23, 2019 @ 19:07:30
LOL! Well done you! 😀
Nov 23, 2019 @ 20:42:53
What a shame: well done for doing what you needed to do!
Nov 23, 2019 @ 21:45:09
I was a bit sorry, but the relief at not having to read it outweighs any regret! 🤣
Nov 23, 2019 @ 23:14:20
I used to struggle with finishing some books but kept going. But now I’m older and have so many of my own beautiful, unread books I don’t force myself. I give it to someone else and hope they enjoy it. Sometimes I’ll dislike a book so much I leave it at a bus stop as I can’t stand to have it in the house (lol). I will never stop reading though as I love it too much. Enjoy choosing your next one and the anticipation that it “just might be the one!” 🤠🐧 Have a bikky.🍪
Nov 24, 2019 @ 13:51:17
I’m the same. And this one will be leaving the house soon, I think! I have had much happier reading experiences since Friday, and that bikky will definitely help! ;D
Nov 24, 2019 @ 03:35:37
Yep, I did the same on that one! The very beginning wad great, but then…. I got totally lost
Nov 24, 2019 @ 13:54:58
Glad it wasn’t just me then. I’m not missing the book, that’s for sure! ;D
Nov 24, 2019 @ 15:54:38
Welcome to the “I abandoned Berlin Alexanderplatz” club! I totally understand how you felt, I was there a couple of weeks ago.
Life is too short : too many books, so little time so…
Plus, the right to abandon a book is one of the The 10 Inalienable Rights of the Reader by Daniel Pennac. No need to feel guilty.
Nov 24, 2019 @ 16:22:20
Yeah, life *is* too short, and it was like a weight lifting off me. Thanks for the validation! 😀
Dec 02, 2019 @ 20:27:32
I’m sorry you haven’t enjoyed this – I read it this year and actually found it quite a positive experience, but when something is making you not want to read you need to move on. Having said that, it’s not entirely clear cut as it can be the books you struggle with that leave the longest lasting impression!
Dec 02, 2019 @ 20:58:05
Looking back, I think I might have enjoyed it if I was reading it at a different time and without pressure. Could be a case of wrong book, wrong time. I like a challenging read, but this wasn’t working for me this time round. Maybe there’ll be a second time one day… 😉
Dec 06, 2019 @ 11:55:01
I really liked this (as my review of it hopefully shows), but I seem to be one of relatively few who did. I do think though you were right to bail – the book doesn’t change nature or tone so if you’re fifty pages in and not liking it frankly it’s not one to continue.
It’s ultra-modernist and makes lots of use of montage techniques which I think are borrowed from contemporary German cinema. I do think it’s extraordinary, but then so is Ulysses and I’ve not finished that yet…
Dec 06, 2019 @ 20:27:57
The more I think about it, the more I’m sure I would respond differently to this at a different time. I think trying to stick to a timetable, a busy time of year and not being able to give this the attention it probably deserves has much to do with it. The montage technique didn’t worry me at all, particularly as I’d read Dos Passos recently. Timing I think is pivotal here. Maybe one day…