Taylor’s novels often portray the flaws in a marriage and betrayal by one or both partners. In fact, marriage (or the lack of it) could be said to occupy a prominent position in all of her books I have read so far. “At Mrs. Lippincote’s” is a study of a marriage and the unfaithfulness of one (or both?) of the partners; “Palladian” shows the deceptions that can take place and the search for marriage by a young girl; “A View of the Harbour” once again has a central marriage where there is unfaithfulness and studies the effects of that betrayal; the compromises made and emotional anguish endured by one women at the hands of her insenstive husband feature in “A Wreath of Roses”, whilst another character in search of companionship has a narrow shave at the hands of a rather dodgy male; “A Game of Hide and Seek” has marriage for security and not love, and how this can be undermined by a real passion; Taylor’s view of marriage seems to become a little skewed by the time of “The Sleeping Beauty” as she deals with a partnership in name only and bigamy; and in “Angel” our monstrous lady novelist pins down and marries her reluctant husband who once again betrays her.
All of these marriages have flaws and it is interesting to speculate whether Taylor has a jaded view of the state of matrimony. Of course, daily compromises are necessary in any relationship and more often than not these are made by the woman. However, it is in IASS that the subject of sex in a relationship comes very much to the fore. In Taylor’s early books the subject was not really raised, but by the time of “The Sleeping Beauty” she begins to address the physical side of marriage. In fact, it becomes pivotal to the plot during IASS as much of the debate fuelled by the book is based on how much of a marriage can be made when the attraction and relationship is only a physical one?
Dermot and Kate’s marriage is based almost entirely on the physical and although we are led to believe they really love each other, it does seem that this is something of a rocky foundation. Their interests are very different – Kate loves music and books whereas Dermot likes fast cars and going to the pub and, well, just drinking! It’s Kate who is making the compromises (although touchingly, at the end of the story, Dermot is revealed as having been trying to read Kate’s favourite book, presumably to build bridges and try to understand her more). But Charles, who is an old friend and of the same age/generation as Kate, has much more in common with her and we end up speculating on how much more important kindness and a meeting of minds is in a marriage (as opposed to just sex).
Bound up in all this we have to consider society’s attitudes to an older women in a relationship with a younger man. Remember that the book was published in 1960 – we still joke about ‘toy boys’ nowadays and so how much more gossip-worthy would Kate and Dermot’s relationship have been 50-odd years ago. In addition, we sense a hint of guilt from Kate, as she knew Dermot while Alan was still alive and it is implied that there was a little flirting as she laughed a lot around him. It may be that however much Kate loved Alan, he was (whisper it) a little dull and so marrying Dermot was actually quite thrilling. Certainly, there is no doubting the physical attraction they have for each other.
Contrasted with the happy couple and their sexual and marital bliss, the other characters have a variety of emotional states. Spinsters Ethel and Gertrude can be viewed as somewhat barren individuals, but Ethel, for all her lack of actual experience, is quite perceptive about relationships and is there for Kate when she needs comfort. This may be because Ethel lives within a family setting whereas Gertrude does not.
Minty, the other most sexually defined character in the book, floats through people’s lives in a devastating fashion, unaware or unconcerned about the effect she has on those around her. Her sexuality is almost impassive in contrast to Dermot and Kate’s intensely physical relationship. Lou’s unrequited love for Fr. Blizzard is the only pure, untainted passion and so as she realises, she is the one whose love survives and is herself intact at the end of the book.
So is the message here that too much sex is a bad thing? Is Taylor saying that the physical side of any relationship is over-rated and that it has to be balanced by an emotional and intellectual compatibility? “They all live under a strain these days, the young people. Overstimulated. You can’t pick up a newspaper without seeing some minx’s half-naked bust. The great mammary age I call it.” So speaks Gertrude, and you can’t help thinking how little has change since then except to give even more importance to the physical aspect. It may be that the book is striking back in a small way against the changes in society that Taylor perceived taking place around her. Let’s hear what other readers think!
Aug 11, 2012 @ 01:54:31
Your posts always make me think! I read this book quite some time ago but since then have become more familiar with Taylor’s life, and how she brings elements of it into her novels. You’ve read the Beauman biography, haven’t you? I always felt there was a bit of “Harriet & Vesey” (Game of Hide and Seek) in her life and I agree this book shows a jaded view of marriage, which one might have if one had given up on a physically & emotionally satisfying relationship for the sake of marriage. Interesting …
Aug 11, 2012 @ 09:51:52
Glad to be thought-provoking! Yes, I tend to think Taylor’s best books are the ones I perceive to come from the heart – I definitely think AGOHAS had elements of her personal life in it, and I feel the same about this one. I did read the Beauman book and I thought it very good and illuminating.
Aug 12, 2012 @ 02:59:07
Hmm – thought provoking indeed. I think Taylor is exploring the theme of faithfulness here or love. There is a bit of me that wonders what on earth attracted Kate to Dermot in the first place but probably what is more interesting is Taylor’s exploration of “treason”. And careful, spoilers here…..she didn’t have to “get it on” with Charles to betray Dermot. She had already done so when they didn’t reveal the identity of Mrs Gereth at dinner…or even well before then …with his mother…by discussing him as a child. I love how Taylor explores notions of faith/love – religious or more mortal in this book. Poor Father Blizzard who in pursuit of a higher faith, breaks faith with his own mother’s sacrifices and feels a heartless cad. Mrs Meacock’s little betrayals with food dropped on the floor being retrieved and dished up. Kate and Charles drinking from the shared “communion” glass. All very evocative. I wrestled for a while trying to determine how Ethel and Gertrude could possibly have ended up in gaol but I realise now that they must have been suffragettes…so yes, I do think Taylor is exploring what “freedom” means for women – is it just about sex? Or are they still constrained by society’s expectations despite sexual liberation. And could someone please tell me what a French taxi driver looks like? Laugh out loud moments for me were on Page 128 when Mrs Shotover’s cardigan ends up in the jumble sale marked fourpence and Gertrude’s bird-watching being more successful than Ethel’s people watching on p 199.
Aug 12, 2012 @ 09:52:55
I like your thinking Alex! Betrayal *doesn’t* just mean physical or sexual betrayal, does it? And the humour is lovely too – Taylor is *such* a god author!
Aug 13, 2012 @ 23:03:09
I’m so grateful that you’re hosting this, Karen! The comments are all thoughtful and make me want to reread (I just finished yesterday). I’m a bit averse to thinking for myself this afternoon, so I don’t have anything to add. I do find Kate a relatively empty character for all that she is well-drawn and was clearly intended to be a specimen of ordinary woman. Surely there was and is more to us than that!
Aug 14, 2012 @ 10:15:14
Thanks for your kind comments Peggy – I’m very glad I got this book to host as I think it may well be my favourite so far. I do see what you mean about Kate being a little empty – especially as Taylor’s characters are quite complex and varied in this book. Maybe she represents the kind of woman who think she wants a bit more excitement in her life but when she gets it, actually realises she prefers the quiet option – perhaps a little bit of a self portrait of the author???
Aug 15, 2012 @ 12:01:01
Aug 15, 2012 @ 12:48:28
What a great piece Karen, I agreed heartily with everything you have said. It is no doubt because of the complexities in her own domestic life that marriages and adulteries figure so highly. I have often wondered what ET,s husband made of her writing – if he read it and whether he was able to see the parallels – surely he must have?
Aug 15, 2012 @ 18:17:30
Thanks Ali, and you’ve hit on something that intrigues me there. ET’s husband is quite a shadowy figure in the biography and I do wonder like you how he felt about the way relationships were portrayed in her books. Maybe her sensitivities to his feelings were why she kept a relatively low profile during her life and didn’t court publicity?
Jul 11, 2018 @ 13:19:34
Good points about Aunt Ethel and her perceptive take on Kate’s love life. The scenes with her and her equally maidenly (and prurient) friend Gertrude are hilarious – they delight in exchanging outraged tales of dirty films and magazine pictures they profess to be horrified by, while betraying their ambivalence by asking the classic schoolboy question: could you see anything? (Answer, well the cameramen would have done.) Priceless. What’s their other catchphrase? Something along the lines of ‘marriage isn’t all bed.’ She writes to G that Kate’s ‘mistake’ was to forget she was an ‘English’ woman – with all that entails for their suffragette generation – not as rebellious as their prison sentences might indicate. ‘Love, for her, should begin in the MIND first.’ Alan courted her suitably: classical music concerts, culture. Dermot is ‘Mr Wrong’, while Charles, she predicts accurately, is ‘So lonely, poor man.’ He suggested listening to classical music, and she knows this will bore Dermot, and Kate might have to pass on the suggestion. So: yes, she’s astute about sex and marriage, but limited and biased towards ‘mind’ over passion. Kate hasn’t yet reconciled these.
Jul 11, 2018 @ 20:33:15
Good point, Simon – a marriage should be a combination of both to be a success, it seems to me. Without speculating unduly I did feel that this book drew on Taylor’s life more than others and maybe therefore her viewpoint comes from her experience. And also an older person’s reaction to the impending permissive society!